So this morning I had the pleasure of contacting eFax to make a change on my account. Just like most tech companies these days everything works great until you have to make a change or actually call someone then everything turns to crap. I decided to use their chat feature on their site and boy am I glad I did. Here is the exchange for your reading pleasure. I think you will get a kick out of it. I have changed the name of the Sales Rep to Sales Genius, because I am such a nice guy.
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In Chat window:
Please wait for a site operator to respond. You are currently number 1 of 1 in the queue. Thank you for your patience.
Chat Information: You are now chatting with ‘Sales Genius’
Les Benito: Hello
Sales Genius: Welcome to the eFax Sales Team! I am “Sales Genius”, your Online Sales Representative. How may I assist you today?
Sales Genius: Hi Les.
Les Benito: hello
Sales Genius: Yes.
Les Benito: I currently have a 210 area code number
Les Benito: and I moved so I would like to change that number
Les Benito: seems that the only thing I can do on your site is add another number
Sales Genius: May I have your fax number/email address registered with the account?
Les Benito: 210 xxx-xxxx
Sales Genius: May I know the City, State and Area Code where you prefer to have a fax number?
Les Benito: Alexandria, VA 703 area code
Sales Genius: For this matter you would have to contact our Customer support department. I can guide you to the appropriate customer support team.
Sales Genius: Email support is available 24/7 at [email protected]
Sales Genius: You can also contact our customer support team at 1-323-817-3205, which is available 24/7.
Sales Genius: Instead of switching, I suggest that you add a new number now. As part of a special plan, today you can add a new number (local/toll free) to your existing account under the eFax Plus service for only $6.95.
Sales Genius: You won’t incur any monthly fee for the next three months. Only at the end of 90-days, will you be charged the monthly fee of $16.95 applicable towards the following month of service.
Sales Genius: You can receive up to 130 pages of faxes Free of cost per month and you can send out Un-limited pages of faxes @10 cents /page (60-second transmission time or less) anywhere in USA.
Sales Genius: I will also credit your account with a recurring Gift Credit of $3.00 for sending Free faxes every month, which is only through this chat session.
Sales Genius: This is a contract free service and there is no term or commitment involved.
Sales Genius: Would you like to add a number to your account under this exclusive offer?
Les Benito: I am already a plus member
Sales Genius: That’s correct.
Les Benito: I don’t see a reason to pay some more for a second number
Sales Genius: This is a Promotional Offer which I have suggested for you.
Sales Genius: I can arrange an option for you.
Les Benito: so you are saying I will have two numbers for the same pricethat I pay now?
Sales Genius: I can add the 703 number under 30-Day Free Trial Offer.
Sales Genius: This is a contract free service and there is no term or commitment involved.
Sales Genius: There will be a monthly fee of $16.95 only at the end of 30 days when you have tried our service.
Sales Genius: With this Offer, there will be no charges placed at the time of account set up.
Sales Genius: Would you like to add the 703 number under the 30-Day Free Trial Offer?
Les Benito: ok but after the 30 days will my monthly price increase? or will both numbers be part of the same account?
Les Benito: please explain
Les Benito: am I paying 16.95 for both numbers?
Les Benito: or for each number?
Sales Genius: Yes.
Sales Genius: It will be $16.95 Per Number Per Month.
Les Benito: why would I do that?
Les Benito: hmmm let me see….I don’t want one number so instead I should get two
Les Benito: yeah that makes perfect sense
Les Benito: thanks for all your help
Les Benito: have a great day
Sales Genius: Thank You for contacting eFax Sales Chat. We hope you found our session helpful. Good Bye!
Chat InformationChat session has been terminated by the site operator.
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So as you can see it was an extremely valuable and worthy chat. Immediately in my mind I went to what the interview process was like at eFax when hiring this particular sales representative. I imagine it went something like this:
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A typical office with a maze of cubicles with offices for the managers along the walls. On the door of one of the offices is a sign that says Human Resources.
HR Manager: Hello?
Sales Genius: Hey (unnecessary pause)
HR Manager: Can I help you?
Sales Genius: um..yeah my buddy said that you guys were hiring and stuff?
HR Manager: I see
HR Manager: who sent you?
Sales Genius: Bill
HR Manager: Bill….Bill who?
Sales Genius: ah man I don’t know his last name… I think….maybe Jones or Jonas or Johns I don’t know something like that
HR Manager: hmm…..ok….what exactly did he tell you?
Sales Genius: he said you guys were like…hiring
HR Manager: ok….is there a particular job you are applying for?
Sales Genius: um…I don’t know. Whataya got?
HR Manager: Do you have a resume?
Call Center Manager: Tom! (heavy panting)
Call Center Manager: Serious emergency!
HR Manager: Fred is everything ok?!?
Call Center Manager: No, there was a horrible accident we lost 5 of our sales reps in a car accident during their carpool in this morning
HR Manager: Oh my God! That is terrible!
Sales Genius (under breath): uuhhhhhhh that stapler is awesome…..
Call Center Manager: We are completely at a standstill.
Call Center Manager: I don’t have anyone to answer the phones and they are ringing off the hook!!
Call Center Manager: I am trying to answer them myself, but I don’t have the latest scripts! I have to get some people in here to answer phones ASAP!
HR Manager: How are we going to do that? We don’t have an emergency hiring process….let me think about this
Call Center Manager: It’s out of control!
Call Center Manager: Have there been any applicants for the call center?
HR Manager: No your team was full so the hiring was frozen for your team
Call Center Manager: Perfect…that figures
Call Center Manager: Do you have any resumes?
HR Manager: not really
Sales Genius: AAAUUUU!!!
Call Center Manager: Holy crap! He just stapled his finger!
HR Manager (shaking his head): Ah geez
Call Center Manager: Who is this guy?
HR Manager: Who knows, he just showed up and said somebody told him we were hiring
HR Manager:: Hey buddy, have you ever worked in a call center?
Sales Genius: What’s that?
HR Manager:: Um…it’s a center that answers calls….
Sales Genius: You mean like phone calls and stuff?
HR Manager (excitedly): Yes, Yes exactly.
Sales Genius: No
HR Manager: Do you think you could do that?
Sales Genius: Do what?
HR Manager:: Answer phones?
Sales Genius: Man, I could totally do that. I can totally answer the phone. Like last night my friend called me and I answered it and he was like hey and I was like hey. Then he was like what’s up and I was like…
HR Manager (cutting him off): But do you think you could do it as a job?
Sales Genius: I don’t get it…do what? Talk to my friend?
HR Manager: No answer phones
Sales Genius: uhhh….yeah….I guess.
HR Manager (turns to call center manager): What do you think, Fred?
Call Center Manager: Man, right now I will take anyone.
HR Manager (turns to Sales Genius): Congrats you got yourself a job.
Sales Genius: Sweet…when do I get like vacation and stuff?
We hope you have enjoyed “Hiring Day at the eFax call center” Please come again.
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